I swear, guys, I did not get on Tumblr to be everyone’s mom. But I made this post earlier about something that really disturbed me, and I’ve been getting a lot of questions about it, so I’m just doing one final, giant, master rant on all the weird things going on with this fandom in the last week. Then I’m going to try and go back to fangirling over Sebastian Stan.
WAYS TO BE A SUPPORTIVE, AWESOME FAN
- Don’t stalk him. This includes running background checks or hanging out at locations where he’s been known to go, hoping to catch him.
- Don’t invade his privacy. If a picture or video looks like he was unaware it was being taken, or if it is clearly from before he was famous – basically, if he couldn’t possibly have expected that this would end up on the internet for public consumption – please don’t spread it around.
- Respect the man. Would you enjoy being called a trash prince, or having people comment on your Instagram photo with the x-rated things they want to do to you? Treat him like a human.
- Consider the venue. A lot of us have a lot of thoughts about him. Please consider whether what you’re saying belongs in a public forum, or whether it’d be better to discuss it through a private “Ask”. If you were thinking this about a co-worker or a classmate, would you discuss it privately with a pal? Or would you bring it up to the entire class or during a company meeting? If you decide public is okay, tag it appropriately.
- Remember that Sebastian Stan is not a fictional character. Whatever you feel for Bucky Barnes or TJ Hammond or Jack Benjamin, put that out there! They can handle your dirty, dirty thoughts. But people have been posting some really disgusting, crude, disrespectful, over-the-top comments about Sebastian that go way beyond “hey he’s hot and I’d do him.” Eww.
- Don’t denigrate other fan’s experiences. This one is more for us than for him, but things have been ugly on my dash lately. A lot of people met Sebastian at Wizard Con; some had great experiences, some had so-so experiences, and a few were disappointed. Whatever your experience, you did not have the defining Sebastian experience that allows you to tell everyone else “how he really is.” Other’s experiences are just as valid. When people share their interpretations of answers that were given during the panel Q&A, don’t come back with “he didn’t think that” or “he didn’t act like that” or “that’s not how it was”. Sebastian Stan did not personally whisper in your ear, “This is what I’m thinking right now.” You don’t own him.
WHY THIS MATTERS
Sebastian has said that his fans are the fucking best. He seems to have really enjoyed himself at Wizard Con last weekend. We want him to keep interacting with fans and keep getting joy from it. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that he knows what people say about him online. Whether he keeps an eye on it himself (he said in an interview that he Googles himself) or has someone do it for him, he knows. He made clear this weekend that he was aware that people had made fun of his studded jeans. In a previous interview, he commented that he wasn’t dressed like he was homeless that night. He made comments to people at the Con that he still has trouble not letting other people’s opinions affect him. He knows what gets said. So when you post something about this guy, ask yourself how you’d feel if he read it. Would you say it to his face? If you wouldn’t want to read it about yourself, either keep it to yourself or take it private.
Sebastian Stan proved to us at Wizard Con that he is an absolute prince. Not everyone had a perfect experience, but it would be hard to argue that all the snafus were his fault. He clearly went out of his way to interact with his fans and share in our joy, to the point where the Con handlers were frustrated with him. He deserves us to be the BEST. FANS. POSSIBLE. To live up to his expectations.
I’m no angel. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve had some public discussions of this man that I wish weren’t out there, that should have gone private. I’ve followed some blogs that post troubling stuff merely because they also post stuff I like. But I’m pledging right now that I’m going to try to be a fan worthy of this guy. I’m going to go through my follow list and clean it up, and I’m going to think carefully about everything I post about him.
I don’t normally ask people to repost my stuff. But today, IF YOU AGREE WITH THIS, PLEASE REBLOG. Don’t just nod your head or click on the little heart, actually reblog it. Signal boost the hell out of this. Let’s see if we can raise the tone of discussion around here to something that Sebastian wouldn’t be upset to see if he Googles himself again. Let’s keep that man believing that we are the fucking best.
That’s it. Last rant on this topic. From here on, only happy joyous sexy Sebastian Stan enjoyment.
(I am not linking to any of the problematic crap people have been posting because nobody deserves to have their inbox flooded with hate for one mistake or comment. I’m not quoting it because it’s that yucky and I don’t want to spread it further. If you really want to know the stuff that set me off, send me an ask - not anon - so I can answer you privately.)